The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I've had a difficult, very thoughtful day today. I'm not really even sure if I should put this on my blog, but I figured that it's mostly my family who reads this and you all either know about it already or can handle my moment of instability. My mom went into the hospital on Wednesday morning for reconstructive surgery on her knee. The surgery went well and there weren't complications. She did have a long, painful first night in the hospital when her morphine drip wasn't working properly. My sisters and I have set up a schedule to have my dad over for dinner while she is in the hospital/re-hab center. She was supposed to leave the hospital today. Then I got the call from my dad. He said that she had some tests done because her blood pressure was elevated and that is a common sign of a blood clot. So, the doctor had a EKG scan done and found that she did have a blood clot. They also discovered a lump on her breast and lymph node. Great. I was hoping to take dinner to the both of them tonight wishfully thinking that she would be released and then get to go home and not have to be at the re-hab center at all. Now. Now it's all different.
When I heard the news I felt such sorrow and grief for my mom, my dad, my family, myself. I had to get out for a while so I went for a run. This way I can think about it without interruptions and without having to focus on anything else for a while. For the first three miles or so I just mulled it all over, trying to make sense of it all. About mile 4 I thought about the blood clot. My dad said they would take care of things in the most critical order. Since a blood clot left untreated can be fatal that will be addressed first. I don't know what you do for a clot? Medication, more surgery? Whatever it takes, that will be taken care of and when the clot is gone the worry over that will be too.
Then about 6 miles in I start thinking about the cancer. The doctor will do a biopsy to make sure but from the scan he was pretty sure it is cancerous. At this point it occurs to me that just removing the tumor isn't the end of cancer. There may be chemotherapy or radiation. Right then the tears come again and a new wave of grief comes for my poor mom. I think to myself, "I don't know if her poor body can take it!?!" She is now a cancer patient.
Then about mile 8 I realize that it's kind of a blessing that the blood clot was found because if the cancer was left undetected for 6 months or longer, which is how long she would have been in recovery from knee surgery, it could have been a lot worse. At least now we know.
Then about mile 9 I start thinking about our family. How the odds for me and my sisters of getting breast cancer now goes way up. How my grandparents may have to deal with the lose of a child. How my kids may not have a grandma to grow up with. I just can't dwell on the what if's, and the could be's. I finally stop after ten miles of clearing my head and I now know three things for sure:
1) I need to fast and pray for my mom, and ask anyone else who would like to, to do the same.
2)I need to go to the temple.
3) I need to take care of my body the best that I can and try to stay healthy so my kids won't have to go through this.
3 1/2)Then pray for guidance on how to get through it and know what I can do to help.

Sorry to burden you all with my worrying and my random thought process. It does help to put it all out there. You understand, right?

The best play house ever!

Who needs wood when you have a really big cardboard box!?! Joey came home Friday with a new tiller which came in a really big box. As soon as he got the tiller out, Max said, "Dad, can I have that box?" The wheels were already turning. He (with my help) designed and crafted a pretty cool play house out of the box, that everyone was more than happy to play in. He put on handles to open and close the windows and door, a drawbridge style door, and a doggie door on the side, then topped it off with a flag on top. Max is just so creative! A week later they are still playing in it and have added a few cars made out of diaper boxes! Way to go, kid.

Carly's Spring Program

Carly had her kindergarten program on Friday, May 21. We got there early enough to see where she was sitting and sat right in front of her for the best photo opps. She was so cute. She came in with her arms folded and you could tell she was having a hard time deciding if she could wave at us or not. She prides herself on being the quietest and best behaved in her class. She did break out a quick wave and a big smile as she sat down. The program was all about different things that the kids could be going from A-Z. She gave her parts at the end. She said,"Now you know what kids like to do from an astronaut to working in the zoo." Then another girl gave her part and Carly said, "When I grow up I know just what I'll be and it will be special just like me. And I will be happy just you wait and see, some day very soon!"

So, cute! She sang her little heart out and kept making eyes at me. I think we had a moment there where I had one of those mom moments where you think, "Wow! This is what makes it all worth it!" Congrats, Carly! You'll do great in 1st grade!

Yeah for Girls Weekend

Now that you all have already posted my pictures from Facebook, I will now post them here on my blog for you to see again. We all love Girls Weekend and this year was no exception. We participated in the usual festivities. Pebbles in My Pocket, then to the Outlets in Park City, then to Midway for a crafty over-nighter at Marie's dad's house. We had a wonderful dinner and lots of laughs. We even added a morning jog for those who were up to it. We feasted on our usual crapes breakfast, which was fabulous! It's always a treat! And this year Stacy was able to come too, as she and her family have returned from the land down under. Thanks ladies for the memories!

House Party!

One of my friends introduced my to this website called Houseparty.com. You basically sign up to host a House Party for varied kinds of products and have your friends and family over to try the product and report back on how you likes it. I was chosen to do a Kraft Foods party. We sampled six(well, five because I couldn't find the cheese) new products from Kraft. We got a package of coupons and party favors too. Here are the pics I took of all the fun. Thanks ladies for coming and being good sports! I told you I would post your picture! Enjoy!

Pushin' a doll, Pushin' a doll, Pushin' a doll!

Like any one year old, Leo LOVES to be outside. Anytime someone opens a door in the house he runs to try to get outside. He gets so mad when you grab him and won't let him out. While Gus was riding around the circle, he got a hold of Carly's stroller and pushed her doll around and around the driveway.

Bike ridin' is fun to do!

There is something to be said about having an older brother to set the example. And all you older brothers out there who don't think your little brothers look up to you and follow what you do, you better look again and be a good example. Here's my latest experience with this. Max took a while to learn to ride a bike but last summer once he finally got it he took off. This year, on the first warm day of the season he was out riding around the circle. Gus saw him and immediately wanted to go ride with him. So, I got his bike out of the shed and we took a few laps around the circle with Max in front of us offering his encouragement. After a few laps and showing off to dad, Max put his bike away and started doing something else. I kid you not, five seconds after Max stopped riding, Gus said, "Mom, I'm done." "You don't want to ride anymore?" "No, I'm going with Max." He loves his big brother!

Hair Cut Day!

Every couple of months I get sick of looking at Max's shaggy hair and I demand a hair cut day for all the fella's. Usually Joey or Carina cut there hair and this time dad did the honors. We even got Leo into the action. Carly felt left out so against my strong protesting, she and Joey decided to cut bangs for her...Ugh! Oh, well. It's only hair and it will grow back. I didn't get one of Gus because he wouldn't stay still for a pic. His looks the same as before, just a little shorter. His hair isn't as thick as Max's yet. Aren't they so cute!

Grandma and her little ladies!

I grew up in a family surrounded with girls. Since my three sisters and I got married and started our own families the numbers have drastically swung in favor of the fella's. Out of 12 grand kids only two of them are girls. Here is a new photo of my mom and her two grand daughters. We haven't taken one since Carly was about 14 months old and Janae was about 7 when we went to Arches. This was taken at Great Grandma Wilson's funeral. We were all dressed up and cute so i took a couple of snapshots for the posterity, or my mom's wall and my scrapbook for now.

Pink Curlers

Does this bring back any memories, ladies? Carly found the pink curlers under the sink a while back and has gotten them out on several occasions but we have never ventured to try them out. Well, she asked me to put them in her hair on Tuesday night so she could have curly hair for school on Wednesday. She had a hard time going to sleep with them in but once she fell asleep she was fine. Her hair was cute the next day with the big wavy curls. We'll see if she asks to do it again...ah, the memories!

Go Jazz!

On friday afternoon I was chatting with my sister Heidi on the phone while checking my e-mail when I ran across a ticket confirmation e-mail for a set of 6 Jazz tickets for Monday nights playoff game. Hmmmmm....who could those be for????? My first thought was that Joey had gotten them for Kevin for Christmas since he never sent him something in Australia. But why would there be 6 tickets? Well, I thought and thought never letting myself believe that I might be going, when I finally broke down and called Joey. The conversation went a little like this,"Hey, uh, I ran across a confirmation e-mail for some Jazz tickets. Would one of those tickets possibly be for me?" "Yes, I got them for your Mother's Day present.Happy Mother's Day!" "Yeah! Who's going with us, since I assume you're coming with me?" Well, long story short Joey and Kevin got together and bought the tickets for Mother's Day and since Max and Cooper have been having so much fun together ever since Cooper got back from Australia, they got tickets for them too. Even though the lost and got swept by the Lakers it was still fun to go to the game. I just wish they would have one at least one game. BIG Sigh...oh well. Better luck next year.